From Motherhood to Awakening

A Transition, Not a Promise #

When I first arrived in Berlin, I was holding a newborn in my arms. What I was carrying inside, however, was far less visible.

I was far from home. There was no family nearby, no familiar rhythm to lean on. Everything — language, place, identity — felt as though it had been reset.

At the time, I didn’t yet have words for what was happening. I only knew that I wasn’t simply welcoming a new life into the world. Something else was quietly dissolving.

As a full-time mother to three young children, I was constantly needed. Yet internally, I felt increasingly absent — from the woman I had been, from the sense of continuity I once relied on.

There were moments when I wondered whether that earlier version of myself still existed at all. Not because I wanted it back, but because I could no longer locate where I was standing.

Motherhood is often described as fulfillment or sacrifice. Less often is it acknowledged as a threshold — a point at which former identities no longer function, while new ones have not yet taken shape.

What I slowly came to recognize is this: many mothers are not “lost” — they are in transition.

This transition is not dramatic. It does not announce itself as awakening or rebirth. It often appears as fatigue, disorientation, or a quiet sense that the old reference points no longer apply.

Nothing is wrong in this moment. But something has ended.

And something else, not yet named, is beginning.

This article is not an invitation to transform, nor a promise that clarity will arrive quickly.

It is simply an acknowledgment: there is a real, shared human phase here — one that does not need to be fixed, rushed, or explained away.

Sometimes, the most important step is recognizing that the ground has shifted — and allowing yourself to stand still long enough to feel where you are now.